Funny things about dreams. My dreams. As much as they don't happen in real life, they do manage to take a toil on my emotions. Affecting my mood for the day.
I can remember my dreams. Every detail right down to what they were wearing and where they were situated.
Some people have the gift of forcing themselves out of the dream. Of being what I like to call 'dream-concious'. That only happened to me once... where I could tell that I was in a dreamscape yet I have not master the act of escaping the dream. The only way was through the normal way where I approached the REM phase; ready to be awaken.
The dream that I had last night was even nastier than the one I had the previous night. The latter, I shall not elaborate. But the most recent dream I had is really vivid.
I was made the head of an elderly activity. The elderlies were split into two groups. One the harvesters the others were the sellers. Harvesters have to work under the sun, no shade, to well.. harvest fruits like mangoes, watermelons etc (do not ask me why some fruits that are suppose to grow on trees would be dug from the ground as I have mentioned, it was a dream). Sellers sold whatever was harvested. I have no idea why I was put in-charge of this event or why there was even this event.
-- as my friend Lili mentioned that old people should not even be digging for fruits.
Beside this event was a student conference... I know I should have been there but anyway, these two events were going on concurrently... though one has no relation to the other.
I have no idea how or why it happened but suddenly it got really hot... like mid-afternoon and the harvesters were under the sweltering sun... and their faces were turning green, almost zombie-like. The sellers were looked normal in the least but they didn't look well.
I wanted to like get some water for them and I enlisted the help of the various students when one of the sellers started fainting (yikes!) so the entire herd of them came, maybe close to hundred of the student participants.. they came with water, tea anything they could get their hands on that is liquid and drinkable.
As I had to rush back and forth to attend to some needs.. with a huge 1 gallon water bottle that was awfully light but filled with coke, it wasn't until evening that I receive the message to head to the hospital.
This was where the horror starts.
When I reached the hospital there on that big white sheet of mahjong paper were the names of students with their matric number as well as a message for me:
Dear Clare, next time if you do not know the allergies that old people suffer do not act smart and diagnose or treat them yourselves.
Opening the sliding wooden door concealed behind the white board... I was met with faces. 7 faces. Student whose elder partner is surviving and in ICU. what happened to the other elderly? they have died. I had indirectly become the murderer of 20 over elderlies.
What happened after that was a whirl, the student council president came to talk to me about my crime and I practically BEGGED him to let me graduate after he found out the I am Year 4 and a Senior... the president was some sophomore or junior at the most. My punishment was to do community service by selling this textbook on how to take care of elderlies. how ironic.
What followed after that was trivial which can be summarized: I worked out a speech and plan to approach secondary 3 students to urge them and inform them on the benefits of getting the book.
Before the execution of my plan, I got woken up from my slumber.
Thoughts:
1) Where was the coke bottle I was holding
2) Oh no I 'killed' >20 elderlies
3) Me a Murderer????
4) Community Service :(
Then it hit me that it was all a dream. But the emotions I felt were real. Really real. The despair. Choked. Panic. It was all so real.
Bringing it to school today, before meeting the Prof. I was really down. Luckily I spoke to Lili about it so I felt a little better. Even though this was just a dream and I probably shouldn't have any lasting feelings about it. But it sure was nasty.
FYP selection is definitely a nightmare. But I have did all I can and I have my reasons for only placing one project, since.... I am only interested in that project. haha. wow that's the first happy word I have typed.
I saw this on my tumblr:
Jesus said, “If you abide in Me, you will bear much fruit.” One translation says, “If you will depend on Me.” The word “depend” indicates continual action. You don’t depend once and then you’re done. It’s not, “Oh, I went to church on Sunday. I spent a couple hours. I did my duty.” No, if you’re going to depend on God, then all through the day your attitude should be, “God, I need You. God, help me to understand this subject in school. God, help me to raise these children.” That’s what it means to depend on God. The more you depend on God, the better things will work out. You will bear much fruit.
We can take the opposite of what Jesus said. If we don’t depend on Him, we’re not going to bear much fruit. We’re not going to be as productive as we could have been. Today, choose to abide in Him. Find strength in Him and let Him empower you for everything you face in this life.
A Prayer for Today
Father, today I choose to abide in You. You are my source, my strength, my power for life. Keep me close to You and show me Your ways in Jesus’ name. Amen.
I am really comforted. I said the prayer in my heart and I believe everything would be well. Praying hard.
Take care! God Bless and sweet dreams everyone!
=do something right=
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