the word failure.. strucks me everytime, everyday. a maths, failure. the fear of becoming a failure. as i trod home by myself, i enter into the world of self-delusion. the world of 'what ifs' what if i fail, what if i cannot make it, what if.. what if....
seeing that other people do better than me... i mark myslef as a failure and strive to do better. but when its' time to reach the finishing line, i stop and hesitate. should i go for it? am i miss nice girl? will my friends leave me because i beat them down. will i be laboured the school's most unfriendly girl, popularity doesn't matter to me. but ironically, friends do matter to me.
failure determines everything, as i trod home by myself, i enter into the world of self-responsbility, blaming myself and solely myslef for my poor results. always not doing the best that i can. and falling sick at the most unappropriate times.
failure is like a mark you cannot wash offf no matter how much merits you have. they say to look at the future and not cling on to the past. but they want us to learn from our past mistakes...
failure - to fail.. fail .. fail.. as i trod home by myself, i enter into the world of self-failure, i world i invented myself. the world where people who fail live.. i yearn to break free form this world, i yearn to run form this world, i earn to destroy this world and cast it into the deepest fire of hells.
failure, i want this word to forever vanish form my dictionary
failure, i want to mark to stop tarnishing my skin
failure, this word to not exist at all.

i pray that God will help, lead and guide me and will take my worries into consideration and allow me to spend me time wisely through this year,

woofwoof

=do something right=