Tuesday, September 14, 2010

BABY---I'M DEMORALISED--G

i know i shouldn't be here. but i seriously need some place to vent. talking to people is not an option for me. its like i want him to know, but don't want him to know. i want them to know, but i do not like troubling them. they have their own problems to settle too. how i wish he might chance upon this by mistake... i don't know if i'll ever regret making this wish. but anyways, i've gotten back my chem and maths results. 1 word to describe it : DISAPPOINTING. in mean i sort of expected it. since for maths i didn't really put in alots of effort. but i'm more demoralised due to chem. its like i FINALLY passed my paper 1 woots!!! paper 2 was oki.. kind of expected it cause i totally 'bwuang' or didn't have a clue on what ques 3 was asking. but i scored 17/17 for ques 4 so its a consolation.. but the failure of paper 3 is too much for paper 1 and 2 to pull up. sigh.. i don't want history to repeat itself like o lvls. i know prelims are difficult but whatever. people are able to score As, but why can't i? is it because i don't put in enough effort? is my mind on other stuff? bio paper 1 was a surprise: i got 32/40 which is currently the best score that i get in my years of doing bio. but when paper 2 and 3 are given back... i think... sigh.. my jubilation would become zero. i don't know. i don't have confidence. but i know that 100% for me is not enough. i have to put in and am willing to put in 200/300/400 or even 500% to reach my goal. i think i'm paranoid, but i need to stress myself to reach out to get the A, A, A, A, A for my 3h2 and 2h1!!! i cannot afford to slacken. though i need a break, but i know i cannot afford to have it. go for it!!

anyways, update for the first 2 days of school: veron got a new BABY G WATCH!! WOOHOO
its a black classy watch endorsed by liang wen yin. it is both digital and analog. 200m water resistant, world time, 5 alarms, 1 hourly signal alarm, stopwatch , countdown timer, backlight LED orange light.
the best part is : IT LOOK GREAT ON VERON'S WRIST!!

i've always like the fact that baby-g watches can always must your wrist look good. that's why i own two of them :)

this would be mine. i've had this for >3 years already. i wear it when i have pe or go for workouts or doing extreme stuff. its wear and tear durable :P
the two of ours put together :) i'm going to wear the other one tmr and take a photo of them!! woots~

anyways, i'm still feeling quite demoralised.. and lost thankfully i have great friends who accompanied me through. lee hui was asking me to stop thinkning and just study. wei jin was saying that my 's' grade was a uber hugh s grade in his class -.- though its not much of a consolation, its the best i could ever get. in addition, veron dear also asked me to cheer up.. and don't think too much. plus i zhen yuan accompanied me home today :) been a long time since i've talked to him and i was chattering throughout the entire journey home haha. oh he showed me this BEAUTIFUL crystal that his research group is growing. i manage to take a ppicturee of it:
sorry for the low resolution. its the best that my 3.2 megapixel phone cam can do. he says its almost perfect. but i think judging from his tone, he's going for perfect :) yeah. i think he can do it!! woo!!!

my day in school is pretty much like this. just results in the morning. demoralised/moody/happy flucuations in the day. back home studying. i really need to chiong. chiong. chiong. really. i MUST get that A. how much do i want it? very X10^100 want it.

=do something right=

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