moody day, moody week

today wasn't the best of days.
slept last night as i reached home at around 10.30pm and by the time i've finished my miscellaneous stuff, it was already 10.45pm.
studied maths for a while till 11.45pm before washing up and turning in.
woke up at the wrong side of the bed i suppose.. or was it another bad dream that i had for the last couple of days that i've been having :(
my mood's been really affected. especially in the morning.
its the time of the day where i'm exhausted, and my mind keep whirling around.
random sad emotic thoughts will keep popping up. it frustrating.
the more you don't want to think about it, the more it'll push through all your mental barriers to appear right at the top of your mind, it'll become the first think you'll think of. urgh. hate it.

anyways, went for chem consultation on monday--its going to be a weekly think, so better find more chem questions. but i asked miss lee how was i doing. she said that my progress is fine, just that if i want to get all my As, i need to chiong a bit more. i know what she means. my prelim grades are not awesome. but at least i didn't fail anything. i think the broadening of the range and some minor moderations had a part to play. haha but its good. since our sch has been using an outdated system for the past year -.- so the new and improved one actually benefitted us :) i know i can do it. but i really need to sort out my thoughts. FAST. if i'm lucky, it'll be done by this sat. if the opportunity arises. if not.. i'll have to wait for like 3 weeks?? i don't want my birthday month to be ruin.

i'm hoping that this year, my birthday would be a really really really, uberly special one.
one that will last me a lifetime.
hopefully nothing sad will happen.
hopefully nothing will break on that day.
hopefully no sad tears will fall.
hopefully i'll get one of the BEST birthdays ever.

haha how greedy of me to be wishing something even though my birthday's not here yet haha:)

oops. i deviated quite a bit. oki today. got scolded by vp in the morning. blast--is the correct word.
oki nothing much to say. part and parcel of jc councillor life.
mood totally ruined by mr vp, then went for bio test. didn't study for it, so had to base everything on the knowledge which i have hopefully accumulated before prelims. -.- gg better start bio revision soon.
1.5 hours of bio test, 1hr lit lecture. hmm.. an ntu lecturer came to endorse his faculty-major in english lit. hmm sounds tempting. but my heart still lies in science, biomed and life science. but i'm considering taking a double major in two completely diff aspects. biomed hons and eng lit hons. but that's for the future. but its good to start planning now!! my dream!! :) oki then break for 15-20 mins. rushed!!! maths 2.5 hr. 1.5 hr test, the last 1 hr was to go through stats test.oh man lost touch with stats. need to practice more!!!! jia you!! stats, my first love :) then it was 2.5 hours of chem. 80mins physical chem test, go through before coming home to complete my sgc.. but seriously,  i think i've run out of things to write. was never good in self-appraisal anyways. i'm afraid that i might not be able to deliver whatever i've written on my testimonial. i mean.. i'm not really sure of myself sometimes. haha cause i'm kind of unpredictable too, not to mention, fickle-minded >.<

anyways, been thinking of weird stuff, and worried about the future... its like dreading the 2 months that are coming. 2 months is a short period of time.. i need to try and let go now.. slowly.. to ease my pain when the time comes?? i don't know. don't want to think about it.

Enrique iglesias-one day at a time
Akon, Enrique
Red One, Konvict
One day at a time
Saw you in the club
You were dancing with somebody
So close so tight
You were killing me so slowly
My friends were telling me what you're doing
Can drive a man so crazy
Trying to live my life
It's been 6 months since you left me

So I oh I oh I
Still thinking about you baby
I try I try
But I guess I gotta take it
One day at a time
I gotta let you go
One day at a time
It seems so impossible
One day at a time
I gotta let you go
And I know, yes I know
I gotta take it one day at a time
One day, one day, one day
One day at a time
One day, one day, one day
One day at a time

I am not the jealous heart
But you stole my heart baby
Dancing with that guy
Made it so hard for me to watch baby
I just been around running in circle
I'm going through it in my mind baby
Had to suck up the tears from my night strolls
To stop from crying out loud baby

Oh I oh I
Still thinking about you baby
I try I try
Can't stop thinking about you baby
Oh I oh I
I keep thinking about you baby
I try I try
But I guess I gotta take it
One day at a time
Said I gotta let you go
One day at a time
But it seems so impossible
One day at a time
Said I gotta let you go
And I know, and I know
I gotta take it one day at a time

First thing I gotta do is try to face it
But your voice keeps playing in my ear
It just makes me crazy trying to fake it
The true event's so bad, it's not what I wanna hear
But I guess I gotta take it
One day at a time
I gotta let you go
One day at a time
It seems so impossible
One day at a time
I gotta let you go
And I know, yes I know
I gotta take it one day at a time
One day at a time
Said I gotta let you go
One day at a time
But it seems so impossible
One day at a time
Said I gotta let you go
And I know, yes I know
I gotta take it one day at a time
One day at a time
Said I gotta let you go
One day at a time
But it seems so impossible
One day at a time
Said I gotta let you go
And I know, yes I know
I gotta take it one day at a time

do it one day at a time???? i don't know.. just don't want to think about it. but my stand is certain:
GIVE IT YOUR ALL, DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING IN RETURN

yup, that'll help. happiness will be achieve through simple deeds cause you don't expect anything in return so even the littlest things count.

btw, another bad thing happened this week. actually it was last week.
i found out last sunday that my phone's speaker is spoilt!!! oh man!!! :( uber sad.
its like when people call me, i cannot. i repeat: CANNOT hear them at all. unless i press it to loudspeaker mode. which is a bit embarrassing haha
but i have no future prospects of changing my phone. i love it too much!! we've been together for 3 plus years!!! i FEEL the attachment!!! I LOVE MY PHONE!! but it'll be all right, just like its owner, its strong. she's always be all right, and so will it :)

tmr's 30th sept:
WEI JIN'S BIRTHDAY!!!
marks the last day of sept, and its going to be the start of my birthday month.. wonder what's install for me ... i wonder wonder wonder..... hmm....

= do something right=