evermore

Happy birthday Miss LEE!!!

oki, i did it!! i pressed the button and submitted my online applications to NTU!! bio science, here i come!! woo!!~~ actually it wasn't a really tough decision... just that my parents were pressuring me to go nus. plus i got da interview so thought i'd give it a shot.. then in the end what do i get? real estate. it was really tempting though.. with the invitation into the school of design and environment. like woah!! haha the letter was really nice. :) but at the end of the day.. my heard still lies with science. no doubt the prospects of both uni are good. nevertheless. yeah :) woo!! back to my old hangout alone. haha :P

anyways, i dreamt about that void again.. its nto a scary dream.. rather a hateful one. as in i dislike it. like.. i don't want it to happen in real life. for one-- nothing has changed. 2, my work place. 3 what the void spoke. its like.. sigh i don't know. well i don't really want to care right now. doesn't matter. nothing does already. but just that its like i'm being haunted by the void. its scary you know.. i don't know why. probably its just me on my part or is there something more?? i choose to think thatits just me.. whatever the case. i'm still on my own in that sense.

just finished reading evermore by alyson noel. going on to the second book in the series. i think i just renewed my love for reading-- its some form of escape.. cum.. a way to pass time. like what i wrote on my fb. everything moves really swiftly. and all i want to do is just keep flipping the pages. even though i was watching master chef (i'm oki already :)) and reading at the same time, i didn't want to put down the book.. so i read till 12.30am haha really late lol!!! haha but well its nice. got off today. kind of getting sick to the retail life so doing admin in about a week's time. but going back to the store tmr help out in stock take. i really do miss my colleagues. its like.. my boss is my bro. elder bro. the bro i never have. of course i'm not comparing to xiao di or cc got or zy gor. all of them are great. haha but he's so much older that he'll really look out for me :) then ah rome lol my buddy. and crap partner. of course.. not comparing to buddy.. as in both ways.. they give me different forms of support. haha so yeah.. jerome is more of.. advice buddy. actually both also crap buddy xD. sorry buddy but seriouly since you're fos... haha you shoud, know better. :) but i really would miss them. haha

i think i somehow learnt not the really care. i can only control this much--namely my own thoughts and actions. that's all. and i've really toned down a lot. i can control is better now. no more obseesive complusive behaviour.. but i don't think i'm still ready for the ultimate test.. cause itslike.. i really don't know how i'll react. so yeah.something about loss that is you never really stop missing someone.. you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence. so tsf if you're reading this.. i guess.. maybe i'm too tired to make the first move already. i'll still think about it. maybe..

anyways, i promised cassy and ying shuen to always end off happy. so here are some nice quotes for eveyone. maybe i should post on fb too :)

'if you want to be happy, be'
'happiness is never stopping to think if you are'
'Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.  '
' happiness is a form of courage'

=do something right=
i don't want to think anymore.