all i ever wanted...

manage to go for SLC'11 night activity!! awesome much :) its good to be back at jss.. feeling.. well. like home. the night was all right except for the throbbing headache which i got.. which turned out to be mild fever. great. sick week this week. but no worries, i'm fine now.. though its a bit depressing given some circumstances.. its like i don't know what to do.. how to act. i'm confused. i can only find solace in my books.. read.. read keep reading. not wanted to break down. i'm still haunted in my dreams. like subconsciously.. its still lingering in my mind. ms tay say i've reached the level of being able to let go.yet somehow hold on. i have no idea.. but oki, i want to say boy am i glad that i went back to jss yesterday :) its really some form of pride..i don't know how to explain it. absolutely love it when wei jian said: she's our secretay, standing right in front of you the entire time' haha then they made this girl throw her waterbombs back and forth... like"think think think think" then the water bomb throwing back and forth. uber cute haha.. well.. really it waa nice catch-up amidst the night activities.. somehow i'll reall what i went through that period of time... maybe it was worst.. much much worst!! haha but still good experience. haha the campers had to find cass.. which we asked koko to pull off and he went 'i'm a drag queen' lol!!! haha hilarious.. oh  well.. it was fun while it lasted. my head.. at least i couldn't take it anymore, so cass accompanied me home.. in case i faint or something..if not i would've stayed till 5 am :( awwwsss next year hopefully?? haha
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somtimes, i feeling like saying:

but..
what if i don't ge to see that 2 sec smirk only meant for me?
what if you don't call me sucker anymore?
what if you forget the 33586239 thousand pokes i owe you?
what if you no longer crap around me like you use to?
what if you don't even bother when i get all hysterical over the smallest things?
what if you have already forgotten about me?
 i know i should tell myself:

because

whether we'll meet again in future... friends.. foes.. or otherwise.
gor ask my not to think too much, not to read too much into everything.. oki i guess i've made up my mind to do something right now.. so yeah. no regrets girl, cause at this point of time. its something that i really want to do.
someday, i'm going to reach my goal of being a :

dumb cheerful girl!!!!!woo~~
Saw this on tumblr:
"Being in a relationship: It’s not about the labels or becoming official. It’s about getting to know someone well enough to develop genuine feelings for them. It’s about being understanding and forgiving when situations are at their worst. It’s about loving someone, not for what they have to offer but who they are. It’s never about blaming your significant other for not treating you like how you want to be treated, it’s about how hard they try to keep you around."
i know that i tried my best to keep you around. for that year, i felt that i know you. so that's that. :)

=do something right=