just a dream

got up early so took the liberty of posting so when i come home later, i can concentrate on other stuff. hmm.. its kind of ironic that i'm still in this situation, though it has really been uber long already. but sigh.. whatever. i have to keep moving forward. its not very nice if the other party has already move on super fast, leaving you behind to try and pick up the pieces and pull yourself together. everyone would know what i'm talking about and often or not, most of them would be my senior in this aspect. haha well.. everyone has tough days, nd everyone would thik that they have gone through much worst. so yeah.. but i thought of something this morning, that maybe could help. its just something psychological. i got the wake up call again. quite interestingly, from a different source :) but well, it still worked. i guess the last few days have beena little confusing.. but now i got it right on track again.... till the next bombastic thing happens -.-

anyways, here's how the psyhology thing works.
i'm going to think that i have a secret job.. dotz saying that on my blog doesn't make it very secretive but who cares.. oki.. just like a assassin..their job is to eliminate people secretly. oki. my job is to bring people together oh-so-not-secretively. lol. but the same rules apply. the mission must succeed at all cost and for course, do not have any attachment to the subject. well, it would be pretty easy if i was handling the female subject, but ode to joy, just like most female assassins are suppose to man-handle the male species, so was i. to cut a long story short.. yeah, i found myself building this super strong bond with the make subject.. then everyhing went bersek, but i still finished the mission. i'm supposed to disappear once the mission is done.. which is currently what i'm doing?? lol. or trying to do. haha..

well, just a little story.. but i guess it turned into an analogy of my situation.. again.. -.-" i really should stop doing that!! but its fun as it stretched my imagination and what michael scotts taught me--imagination does not die, it is the strongest magic of all. but it has to be controlled carefully, artfully and masterfully. haha well, i guess that's how i can think of things now.. to prevent myself from going crazy. no point. even if i'm involved in some kind of accident or something happened.. i think they won't even know.. so yeah.. not wishing something will happen to me but yeah, you get my point. haha.

for now.. its really.. just my own wishful thinking--it really is. it really is.

=do something right=