initiative

been fed up just now. so i am here to vent.
been quite easily agitated recently. i have to learn to deal with it and ask God for help. for peace to calm myself down.
i really don't like it when i cannot make decisions. that one. but i even dislike the fact that people... when they want to do something, yet don't know how to do them keep asking me so how? how what!! how would i know how? its like you want an outing. then you keep asking me clare so how. plan outing. you want an outing, you plan it. you want something you have to work to get it. stop asking questions like so how?
as if asking so how, the outing will miracleously drop from the sky.
that's why i'm really thankful for jia ni sometimes. spontaneously planning stuff. when she came back from taiwan, she was the one who planned the outing. really grateful. at least she doesn't point fingers at people and sit around asking so what? so how? what now?

i guess this is call initiative,something that i admit, i do lack. that is what makes us human. always pushing the blame, never wanting to go the extra mile. i feel that i have to try harder sometimes. i really do. no matter what. keep fighting it with God's help.

thanks* yvonniieeeee dear for talking to me and being there. its really nice to bask in God's people :) i can do it.

another thing that has been bothering me is of course studies. my elective.. well i didn't do too well. only a 50/80 and that's 40% so my 60% i really have to buck up. didn't manage to s/u. maybe its God's wake-up call to me. yupyup have to buck up already clare. currently.. 17 days till the big day??so yeah! jia you! fighting!


God please guide my path..

=do something right=