Will our memories stay with us after we die?

its raining outside. such a dreary weather today.
know the feeling where you already made plans for yourself and yet its haphazardly cancelled because of the weather. yeah. its THAT kind of feeling now. now i am totally not in the mood to go out bu ti have to in about an hour's time as i have already paid for practice. $6 is not cheap in my sense. nono.

other than having breakdown by suju-m (korean and chinese mix) on repeat, i'm livejournalling. haha actually was just looking at one of my jc acquaintance's blog. i love her style of writing. it is terribly amusing, frank and straight to the point. gosh i think i really need to cook some noodles, if not i'll be starving and i'll probably catch a cold and this will snowball which will either lead to me having colic in the middle of some random night OR having flu at some special occasion. i really cannot afford to fall sick now, and for the next probably 7 months. i need to parttyyy and enjoy myself!!. speaking of that...

'you're my role model'

its funny how that line above can have a drastic effect on people. suddenly you'd sit up straight, look more professional and try not the act stupidly.. at least in the next 10mins since that line was uttered. it helps it the person saying it actually leaves right after the fulstop of the sentence. this line would be a form of encouragement and reminder. of course there would also be a burden, but i believe that God will carry me through.

Another thing was that last night, i found it hard to sleep. i have no idea why. just that my mind keep attacking my brain with thoughts, memories to be exact. i can still remember them and run my fingers through them as though they were sand. they were the memories i had in secondary school. the prime of my life. secondary 1 and 2. Obstinately, i tried willing myself to sleep but to no avail. the thoughts came tot a point where even my body was overcome with emotions and i was actually quivering, not because of the cold or anything, but because the process of recollection was so powerful. The people, i am still in touch with them and for that, i will be eternally grateful and thankful towards God. It was the place. the food. the walk home, walking under the hot beating sun with my lunch in my hand to home. when i reached home, drenched in seat, i take off my bag, have my lunch in front of the telly because starting on my mathematics homework that always seemed never ending. the memories i had before i joined council. going home at 1pm was a luxury. after that it was the 4th storey classroom that i had for 4 years. all the tiny droplets of familiarity. inside, outside, the whiteboard, the noticeboard. the decorations. the seating arrangements. the conversations that passed. everything. well, it wasn't take awful, the remembering part. it was awful because

1) knowing that i will not be able to go back and do the same things ever again hurts. (although i wanted to infiltrate jss with a fake old sch uniform and buy the same dishes if there are still there, sneak out and go home, it would never be the same)
2) i was trying to sleep!!! bad timing seriously!

anyways, it 2 more weeks till i go off haha apprehensive and excited. almost got into a squabble with my mum over what bag to bring. such trivial stuff >.< anyways i still have some work to do. better go make my noodles now. tata

God bless. take care in this weather.
for the live journal, this is my friend's addy: http://shatire.livejournal.com

emjoy!!

=do something right=
i literally stopped in my tracks when i saw the backview. never. not now, not like this, not yet. >.<