Korea 48

Day 48

The feeling of not being good enough is back. Maybe its because i am not feeling well. but i feel like i have let my parents down again. Being sick, not being able to take care of myself well, not being bale to do well in school. I thought by coming to Korea, i could prove to them that i have become an independent girl that i capable of looking after myself and taking control over my studies as well. But things are not looking that good though :( my momentum to study, its there but its kind of being hindered by my stomach, Convulsions are not really nice sensations to go through everyday and all i want to do is just lie on my bed and not do anything. But how can i? i am starting to feel the pressure. Studying is one thing, but studying well is another. the problem is i don't even know how to cope with my meals now. Seeing rice, noodles or just food makes me nausea. The only thing that i can take are fruits. which is bad cause i will be lacking nutrients :( God please help me. i really want to study hard and play hard here. i keep thinking about the week, and the next and what if i don't recover. Will i be letting my friends down like dragging them down such that they cannot enjoy their trip? especially Maureen. We have a trip to Busan coming up in two weekends so i really need to recover by then :/ i pray diligently every night that the Lord almighty will guide me and heal me through this ordeal that it'll make my body stronger. Even though i'll breakdown sometimes but i know that i will emerge stronger than ever. So i really need the strength to fight this virus in m stomach right now. I've laid off a lot of stuff so hopefully i'll be well tmr. Even though i still have the fear of going to the canteen and eating the food there  in case it makes me queasy, but i know that with God's help i can do it.

As i look towards the sky, i really pray that i will be given the wisdom and the strength to pull through, no matter how tough, how much i miss everyone in Singapore, no matter how much tears will fall. i will be able to make it. Amen.

i miss my fish congee :(

=do something right=