what to do. just keep quiet.. and do well for my studies.. wished there was someone i could talk to. but i think i handle this on my own. its not as bad as some other things. i just need to produce results and i'm determined to produce it for them. my gift for them. just for them. so that they'll be proud of me. since they've always put up with my bad attitude and weird remarks. soometimes laughing loudly for no reason. haha but thanks* for giving me great parents.
today.. i did something. i guess its right. i mean i didn't do anything wrong.. and the first move wasn't made by me. whether its planned or not i have no idea.. i don't want to know either it would only make me feel worst. a metaphor speaks a thousand words. my heart= thousand pieces puzzle. imagine you've almost piece together the 1000 pieces, then someone who helped you piece it, but when it gets tough, he/she walks away leaving you to continue the other 500 pieces by yourself, when you finally almost did it, the same person comes and wrecks the entire effort by turning the table over. imagine that. its something like that.
i don't know.. i just know i'm not ready for the ultimate test. just talking to you... is enough for me already.
at least... i know where i stand. i don't ask for much.. i know we cannot get back to where we once were..cause there are some stuff in our way.. although i wished i could get back to those times.. the crapping, jokes and incredulous things you'd ask me under the sun. just sitting somewhere and talk about stupid stuff, calling each other names, then we would start poking each other.. running around. trying to catch each other.but now. this little contact: in other words... have you re-entered my life??
luckily.. this isn't the contact i meant.. phew. this is just.. i don't know. msging?? i don't know what you want.. maybe you're just trying to test out my number see if it still works? or maybe... you just want to try your luck.
i really want to embrace you.. i'm still fighting the urge to call you b. its hard.. i admit. i'm a softie. give me those puppy eyes and i'll melt. ._.". i don't know if i want you in my life.. last time.. i couldn't see the picture. but now i can see it clearly. i'm not sure if i like what i see. but i will not do anything to upset this equilibrium. it is not right.. so maybe.. i'll just suffer alone. its the best way??
Missing someone isn’t about how long it has been since you’ve seen them or the amount of time since you’ve talked. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something and wishing they were right there with you.
this is what i'm really afraid of :
=do something right=
maybe we just continue.. this for now..
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