till the end

ever since buddy left my life.. i don't really have any friends i can pour my heart out to.. as in literally pour and crap all the way..
not saying that my other friends are bad. they are AWESOME, not to mention FANTASTIC... but sometimes.. i don't want to keep relying on them.. buddy.. though was not always there for me.. at least.. will still manage to make me smile. lol now i need to make myself smile on my own.
but the great veron is still there. so is sunshine :) haha awesome people in my life.

i made some decision over the past hour. it required my to bawl my eyes out, some dizzy spells and a lot of short sharp breaths just to calm myself down to think logical and rationally. but i'm proud to say.. for once in my life, i'm able to follow my heart.

i promise myself no more emo post, so i'm not going to post any emo stuff, but i'm going to scold someone here.. if you cold excuse me:
TSF!! how can you just let out friendship go like that. call me naive, call me selfish.. fishmonger, whatever you want, but i'll never let our friendship go like that. you think you say want to let go, you just let go. you think you're the only one that's tired?? hmph, i'm not going to blame you. i love you as a friend. that's why i'm chiding you here and not in your face, though i know that you prob won't come here to visit. but really man!! even if you don't know me that well. you should know i treasure friendships like mad. and this is irritating me like mad!!! seriously!! i don't care. even if it takes my entire life to be your friend, i'm so going to try. i'm going to put in the effort every single ounce of effort to try and keep it up. once my friend, always my friend. i don't care if its kindergarten, pri, sec,jc or uni whatever. if you entered my life, i don't want to just let you walk away like that without trying. this is what i really want to say. yes. if you keep me out, i'll still wait for you outside your door(of your heart.. not your house like some stalker-.-)i'll do my best to make this work. you don't even need to lift a finger, i'll put in all the effort you hear me!!!! i'm giving you my all! to make this friendship work.

to me friends.. who are already my friends. please do not. i repeat. do not try to walk out of my life. i treasure each and everyone of you.. though i don't need to say it out loud. but don't you dare.try.to.get.out.of.my.life.

to my future friends: the same applies to you too :)

LOVE YOU ALL TTM!!

of course.. there happens to be one exception.. but.. that i'll leave it to God. that would be on hold.. something i would settle maybe in the futre.. not even near future.. but just. future. lol.

i guess, it's rather becoming of me.. to reach my dumb cheerful girl status as gor would call. it :) nice one clare. jia you oki people. do treasure your friendships, and just be sincere like i always say. haha :)

from beautiful creatures:
the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them -- ernest hemingway.

there was only so much trouble you could get into before the threat of more trouble wasn't even a threat anymore. At some point, you'd waded so far in you had no choice but to paddle through the middle, if you had any chance of making it to the other side. --you won't be able to understand this logic.. until you're about waist deep into trouble.

everything means something. don't try to change something wild into somthing tame.

loneliness is holding the one you love/when you know you might never hold him/her again
even lost in darkness/my heart will find you
the soul dies at the hand of the one who carries it
if i could find a pplace to run away/hidden safely, i would be there today
how do you escape from yourself?--- lena duchannes

my personal favourite:) 'question everything. learn something.answer nothing'-marian ashcroft

i'm prepared to give everything and expect nothing. but trust me, i'll make this work cause when there's a will, there's a way. hard or difficult, i'll walk it. believe me my friend.

=do something right=