girl, forget it. seriously no use.. its kind of surprising how you're able to withstand for so long without bursting out into tears. so cool right?? jia you oki.. really. though sunshine say that i'm not the type of person to heck.. i really am not but.. yeah.. i'll do my best, i'll keep smiling. i'll hold my head high so that the tears won't fall. i promise my self that i won't cry, so i will not. even though it sort of stings right now.. it really does. cause i thought i managed to get over it. but i've been living in my own facade. seriously. everything was a mistake. i played with fire and burnt my hands. i deserved it. well done girl. well done. learn. really i need to learn to mind my own business. i think i should stop here right now.
the above paragraph wasn't what i wanted to type. initially. all i wanted was just some simple sentences.
i'm a typical girl who walks the stairs instead of climbing escalators.
i'm a typical girl who has short hair instead of keeping it long.
i'm a typical girl who smiles till you cannot see her eyes.
i'm a typical girl who hates swear words.
the list could go on and on and on..
what really surprises me is that... are the memories with me so detestable that you would use other memories to cover them up? its a hurtful question that i would never have the courage to actually open my mouth to ask. but this is my blog, my world. i'm really tired of this. they have moved on. so why can't you girl?? clare answer me. there is NOTHING. i repeat, NOTHING left for you to hold on. you need to shove your butt out there and live. not just to survive!!! really man. you got to fling every single care into the clouds and let it rain over the next country or town they pass by. you are not in the equilibrium anymore as gor puts it. really. get real and wake up. this time really wake up.
yeah, face it, they do not care.. they just don't.
build up confidence in yourself, even if you go uni and you still remain single.because you plan to seal your heart up in this cage. be proud of it, cause if the guy really likes you, he will break through that cage just to get to you.
even if you cry yourself to sleep tonight. wake up feeling better. regarding the sentence, why do you have to be so negative. void's to put all memories at the back of your head and move on. so what if you cover them. the past was still there. written in history, yeah, you would have different type of experiences with different people. it would never be the same.
venting it out.. on the blog.. there's till so much stuff i want to say, so much.. but the fire that scorched my hands, i'll extinguish it soon.
jia you girl. no matter how much longing or urges, you got to hold back, because you've matured and grown and realse the fact that everything is of the past and will be of the past. move on. let go. these are just words. you need to reach your inner peace. why bother about people that don't bther about you? you know its your nature to care. so be it. care, but only for the righ reasons and if you have to. if not trust that they can take care of themselves. there is no more going back. you need to live clare.you've been surviving for so long. so live now.
the end of your worries starts here.
because you know you have the strength to.
=do something right=
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