19

yesterday was one of the happiest. yet saddest day of my life.
my birthday. it held so much meanging for me.
one year older. one year wiser. one year more mature. one year to becoming an adult.
can i actually live up to those expectations?

the day started off with 'raise your glass' playing on the radio. the perfect song to set me in the right mood that my birthday has finally arrived. the present that my mum left on the dresser was a bright green monkey decorated card and a pair of earrings. on my phone to be welcomed by multiple smses from sec sch friends, jc mates and of course uni peeps. really touched that they remembered. took me a while to reply. anways. rushed to school for lab. li hui wished me haha. cause we took the same bus.. for the second consecutive time in a row. wonder if we'd be on the same bus later haha. got a present from manly rabbit and kola. haha really love them lots. birthday wishes from wei zhou and pretty silin. haha headed to the com lab for lab. wishes from mark and ian. haha.

something happened after lab. i received a call. apparently from my service provider--- who said that i didn't pay my bill for 4 months!!!!! it sounded really incredulous. more of a prank call. then i found out it was the 91.3fm dj!! andre who called haha and rod who called to wish me a happy birthday!! i was really surprised!! i couldn't believe it!! haha it was really memorable. but i forgot to ask him to impersonate numtak's voice.but still it was awesome. not sure when would it be on air. haha didn't get to hear it. anyways. they gave me 2 songs to choose from: train's this is love and linkin park's numb. haha. i chose numb in the end cause it appealed to me more at that point of time.

headed to the resource room after hanging up. the magnets were all lined up waiting for me. haha they celebrated my birthday right there and then outside the resource room. haha really fun. i got my present from the rest. bro.hamster.reen mama. even the boys prepared a card for me!!!!!!!!!! i was really really touched!!! haha. really one of the best presents. ever.

the day dragged on with biz law. and the mood dampened as it rained. haha hang out at reen mama's hall and met her pretty roomie michelle hhaha super smart too. anyways set off to jp for dinner with some of the magnets :)

sweson was chosen. haha cause no other ideas lol. dinner started off great. the laughter was contagious. really glad to have met the magnets haha. don't know what i'd do without them. then my teacher sms me saying the i failed my exam.. by 5 marks. it was my pieces that pulled me down. aigoo!!. what a huge blow. my mood immediately went down hill. the first thought was like. oh no. then.. how am i going to tell my parents before progressing on to... can i cope if i retake... i'm not even doing well in sch... then i must not cry. i must not cry. but in the end i still broke down there and then. which was.. aigoo~~ on my birthday.

sigh.. i cried alot. ya. htht session was kind of slow ahd tough. but ya.. i guess i'm still a girl with lots of insecurities towards my future. cause i really don't know if i'd do well. i'm not really gifted in anthing.. or i don't really know what's my gift and purpose on earth yet. though it has been 19years. well i think i just have to continue my search. may the LORD lead and guide me.

thank you all who spent my 19th birthday with me plus the well wishes thank you!

=do something right=