Korea 81

Day 81

I really like taking a bath. Not only will i feel clean outside, but its like another quality time spent with God and i'll feel refreshed inside. My decisions and reflections are made while i am taking a bath as well :)

i guess that i can summarize what self-reflecting i did and conclude : 做自己就好。不要管别人怎么想。
When i was young, i didn't think too much or even care about what people thought of me. Maybe as i grow older, when faced with society, new issues and my past, i think i've changed one way or another. i think i've become more pessimistic, more restrained. when i was little, i always harped on the material wants, and you know what, often i do get it, so material wants was never a problem. But as i grow older, i don't need any material things, the stuff i look for now are virtues. Virtues in other people which i see, qualities which i don't have but i want them. Its like inferiority is really my greatest flaw. Always wanting to be better, kinder, nicer, more caring etc. Not being contented with who i am. I don't know why. but maybe the times really do change your outlook of life. But i don't want it to be this way. I want to rebel against this change, i want to fight this evil me. i don't want to care how people are, how people look at me, i should only care how i find myself, am i doing the right thing. am i being upright. i need to be contented with being me as a person.

Coming to Korea made me realise a lot of myself that i didn't dare to admit last time. i now know that i came here to find my self-confidence. to face the issues that i won't have the courage to face under the care of my parents. here, i am on my own. i make my own decisions and handle the own consequences. i learn to be judged by myself, to chide myself, to keep myself in check more than any other time in Singapore. even though i have no idea how my personality is right now. but i believe that i will succeed in being a good, if not even better person :) that's my hope from coming out of this exchange. this journey is really to kick start my new journey when i get back ti Singapore. how is my attitude towards life and more importantly towards year 3 sem 1 and beyond as well :)

For me the first step now is to not care about other people. focus on myself and what i think is right. do it and do it well. put my mind to it. Jia you!. onward, forward, march on!

=do something right=