This is it

Its not worth it. Flipping through the photos and the memories going through my mind once again. Its just not worth it. The vicious cycle of me --> guy --> my friend has to end. In a way I was blessed last night that God managed to make me see his flaws. Slowly they are coming out. His self-centredness. The way he values friendship. It could be the way he expresses himself. But I don't want to make any excuses for him. I cannot be sure that my friend will like him. But I got this feeling that it will not work out. As much as the guy will be sweet x 100000 to her, but their indifference would pull them apart. I may be wrong. But I will let go. I admit. I am angry. Angry that he tried to do the thing that I hate the most. Hate is a strong word and using it to this extend, I am for real. I forgave him this time round, but if it happens again, I do not think I will have the strength to pull him back. Or would I even want to. We connected but if I am the only one supplying the fuel for the spark, then forget it. I treasure both friendships a lot. Especially hers. The photos really brings a smile to my face :) those times we spent. They are irreplaceable. As much as we have our differences but the wonderful times outweigh the sad memories. I do not want to come in between them. I am tired of thinking for them/of them/about them. Just let me focus on this sem to ace it. I really don't need another distraction.
I don't know what the future brings I know I am someone that is super accommodating so I can bao rong a lot of things though I do draw my lines. The future just let go decide. If we are meant to be, one day we will be right for each other. If not I really hope you will make an effort in this friendship. I agree Life is unfair, but why make it so complicated?

I think I will really guard my feelings properly from now on. As much as I want to, but I know that maybe now is not the right time. Just tired of all this nonsense. One day the person will appear, no worries even though I am sceptical, but I still hold the believe that making an effort to yield results. I will still continue to believe in that and keep smiling.

Leave it all to God. Wait.

=do something right=