我不管了, 我不管这伤口能不能愈合

爱疯了

不敢问却一直想问
你心里藏着什么人
不敢猜却一直想猜
如回去有没有可能
我不够完整
你给的从来不够完整
你一个语气都无法确认
这种缺乏是什么象征
不开灯我不要开灯
我身边容不下别的人
不锁门我不要锁门
你回来是一种信任
我那么的认真
去思考你对我的认真
或许是多么伤害人
而结论始终是疑问

*我爱疯了
我疯到自己痛也不晓得
放弃了保护自己的责任
放弃了抵抗脆弱的天份
我不管了
我不管这伤口能不能愈合
选择了你也许是错的人
选择包容了你的不安分
我尊重我的选择
我想我疯了

Actions speak louder than words. I don't want to try to find excuses for you any more. Just whatever. I am starting to get my momentum back already. slowly slowly crawling my way through. I managed to avoid talking to you in person for 1 week. Mange to act like everything is all right. To smile as brightly as I can, maybe to give you a bit of warmth as a friend. But I might not have that power to touch the corners of your heart. You're running to something you want and at the same time.. away from something you're afraid of. Call me a coward for hiding behind the phone screen, computer screen or even your good friend's back. But trust me, talking doesn't help. Not this time. The conversations that we once had have become stained. As much as I am being a sincere friend to you, but you are the one pushing me away unknowningly, I don't know but you just are. I don't want to keep fighting to find reasons why you are in my life. I have other issues to settle. My family first. My mum isn't doing well. I pray that God will grant me strength. For her, for my dad for my family. Some other stuff take priority over you, so stop occupying my mind. I want to be happy again. I need to be happy again. I hope that next post I post will be a happy one.

Haha just let me side track a little from my rant. I posted an article on FB recently, about a man who made a lifevest for his pet fish Einstein who couldn't swim. http://www.vegfriend.com/forum/topics/man-makes-a-life-vest-for-pet-fish-who-can-t-swim here is the link if you are interested to know. This really warmed my heart and the line that touched me the most was when he said 'People have said that i am crazy but every animal is a valued family member' this is really the essence of what makes a family. You never get left behind, they are the ones holding you up when things get tough. I am really blessed to have such a family, for my wacky mum that always sees things in a different light to turn a situation around. For my understanding dad who always believes in me even when i don't believe in myself. My all my friends around who somehow can stand my personality haha and weird comments or even entertaining me when i start saying random things. Really really Blessed :D. so there are things in life worth smiling for. I should start smiling for people who are worth it and try not to think of stuff that are not. Though its hard, but i will be able to drown it out with music and there are always people I can count on :)

btw i want to do a shout out to my friend Bobdog haha you know who you are so if you are reading this, just know that I am a really lucky girl to have you in my life as another awesome bro. You are someone worth protecting and I will do so :) continue to share your thoughts with me and i always welcome a company home! :) haha looking forward to knowing you better and being a better friend to you :D haha thanks* bobdog for everything. really appreciated.

eh xiao di!!! i changed the name on the other post already!!! 8D

TGIF today... so slack haha. well.. will start on the last chapter of genetics probably later. haha. let me end it off:

“To be in love is like jumping off a cliff with no intent of looking down at the bottom. You don’t care if it’s going to hurt like hell when you hit the bottom. All you care about is that for just that short period of time, you felt like you could fly.”
- Anonymous 


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心突然间有一点酸酸的。 痛痛的。

=do something right=