Before loving others, you have to learn to love yourself. But sometimes you have come to realise that in the process of loving others, you have found joy as well.
I find that Papa God really loves me a lot. I finally had a talk with Mama and I must say that she has grown into a woman which I never thought she would be and I am proud of her. I have told her all my concerns, all the negative things I have heard as well as my own views which are neither good nor bad. She has taken it and accepted it. If she can herself with him in the future I have nothing else more to add. If she is able to change him. I have nothing else to say. If she is happy with him, I am happy for her. I feel her sense of joy that maybe she has finally found her solitude. The guy better knows that he is a lucky guy and that if anything happens to her, we'll all be right beside her so he better watch out. Letting her go would be one of the most difficult choices that I have to make as I really don't want to see her get hurt. But I know that she is ready and strong enough. I hold the extinguisher to the flame and if need be, my arms are always open for me.
God has been good to me. He made me realised how much joy I can get from seeing my friends happy, even though I used to have feelings for the guy and that maybe seeing them together now makes me a little uncomfortable, but I have grown to realise that God put me in a special position. Being both of their friends, having the exact opposite personality as both of them haha I guess its a special job I have here and I plan to do that job well :D I know that I will be able to do it.
Now that this episode has drawn to a close, I realised that I learnt many many things... pertaining to life haha not academia unfortunately, but I am truly blessed. Till this day, I have so many friends by my side. I have learn to cherish everyone of them and sometimes even if they don't say it, but I can feel it from them. Another thing I learnt is that sometimes information gets distorted along the way to my ears. With every different mouth it passes, the information either gets more exaggerated or less credible. People might add their own opinions and it in turn influences you or they might say something less that makes the story incomplete. So I guess I have to learn to just ask the person directly, no matter how hard it will be.
Lastly, maybe I learn to take things slow and maybe let loose for a while. I know how it feels to be so overwhelmed by everything and become flustered by the tiniest thing. 24hours seem shorter to me every single day but 24hours is still given to us by Papa God everyday. Not one second less or more. So I should keep calm and just think of my next step. I am sure everything will be all right at the end of the day. I may have high days and low days, but I know that at the end I will emerge victorious :)
p.s I am excited for the next guy that comes along, somehow I have a feeling that he will be a GREAT and awesome one haha plus must be mutual and God-loving too! I really hope to have a fulfilling marriage life that is enriching for both of us and for our children, for many many years to come :) I can hardly wait :)) do come soon haha xp
=do something right=
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