Let it go, let it go

When you set your mind on something, the entire universe conspires to make it happen. I need some positivism here!

its haunting me.

Thank God for driving that made my thursday much much more bearable and I was able to take my mind off some stuff for at least that 100 minutes and my good mood carried on. Recess Week is almost ending and the war will begin again. So sick and tired of this entire episode. Hasn't it already end with the two love birds being together? Hasn't it ended?? I asked my t-friend. apparently not, cause I did not get a proper closure. The cycle repeats, every time I have lifted myself above, something has to happen to shoot me back down. I feel like some lifeless figure, the figure I was 3 years back. Maybe Xq did the right thing then to cut off our ties, even when I cried my heart out that day, but it brought me on the road back to recovery soon enough. Fast forward to now, I cannot cut ties with her. Doing that would mean cutting ties with everyone around me. Then BD had to do something to make things worst so now I am currently waiting for him to broach.

Waiting just waiting.

That what I do everyday. t-friend said my face looks lost and panda said I looked sian. yup thats how I really am. Sian and disappointed. really this time round it isn't the guy's fault. I realised that people who hurt me the most are not my crushes, but they are the ones  I hold much dear to my heart- friends. Yes, friends hurt me the most, especially when they don't think. Putting others before self has always been my only merit. being an ISFJ (yes lol I am an introvert), its quite a normal trait. Learning to give everything and not expect anything has been an art I have mastered but for now, I am tired. For once. Just for once can I just think of myself for a bit. I need to pump myself up again. Focus on stuff that matters and try to disregard stuff that don't (mainly it people :/)

I hope it'll end soon. Sorry to all my friends whom I have been relying on and for people who whatsapp me yet my replies seem a little unnatural, I apologize. I will try to be happy, but I am losing my smile. soon.
Jia you ba Clare!

=do something right=