黑白畫映

I realize I have the wicked tendency to want to know one's past. Especially past r/s AND if it concerns people I know.
Curiosity kills the cat huh. haha it definitely kills me.

It used to kill me quite a bit when I was young.
I have to find it out, get it out of someone, beg, ask, bug my way through.

I cannot NOT know. I must know! Even if it does not concern me.
Its just that feeling when you know something that everyone else doesn't know.
That non-existent superior feeling you give yourself, that your personal relations are up-to-date so far, before more meet ups and 'questioning' ensues.

But now, things just changed.
I can live without knowing.
The suffocating feeling, grasping for knowledge that is of no value. Or how the world likes to term it 'gossip'.
Only its more exciting cause the parties involve are blood and flesh you can feel, you occasionally hang out or have their number when you scroll through your whatsapp contacts.
Its gone. It doesn't feel THAT bad anymore.
I can shrug it off and go.
Or how I like to label it. 'if it doesn't concern you/affect you and people won't want to tell it to you, then its not worth spending the effort to find it out yourself.' I mean... if it doesn't affect your GPA like knowing so and so are going through a r/s rough patch or so is actually together with another so will NOT, I repeat, will NOT get me a gpa 5.0 then what's the point.

I mean, be realistic. haha. so now I can just move on. (flips hair, shrug and go)

but well... I mean I can find out if I want to... especially if its someone that I am not very close to.. somehow, and its just the past. haha Maybe my past was never very fantastic, that's why I like to check out other's. Though its not very respectful but well, its the past that made them who they are today. I do go back to my previous blog posts and laugh at how 'sophisticated' I tried sounding back them. Maybe 10 years down the road, I would come back here and read what I have written and probably laugh at what an immature brat I've been and even the 5.0 gpa that I was so concerned about wouldn't matter anymore.

It still matters not though. haha  I am still living in the present xP

=do something right=