Building the person in the mirror

Oh wow, it has been a while since I've posted. Suppose to be posting/reflecting twice a month but I've not gotten the opportunity to do so except for today, and it February already! How time flies!

Work has been same same but different. With the change in SLs, the demands have also changed and it seems like there is more work to be done. Sometimes I cannot help feeling that I am not very capable for my role because the students do not show any improvement. Even though the P says that we are all doing good work, but I really do feel inadequate. 

The sermon yesterday really spoke to me, about building the person in the mirror. 

The first point about letting of the image I want was really straight to the point. I find that I tend to compare myself to my predecessor, or rather have thoughts along the lines of 'if he was here, this would not have happened'. It could also be my personality, I am not a very assertive person to begin with, and I also do care if people like me or not (especially people I work with). Of course, who would not want to have a cordial working relationship with their clients/colleagues? From the sermon, I learnt that I need to let go of the mental image that I have of myself in my head that I am probably projecting onto others around me and focus of being who God wants me to do -which is more Christ-like. 

Its not an easy feat ask there are certain aspects or traits the I wish to possess to make my job a little easier. Maybe more firm? or more 'heck-care'? But those are just not me. What did Jesus do? Jesus did not care about how people treat Him. Instead, His eyes were always only on God, and what God asked him to do. He knew when to keep silent and how to answer. He did not become like on of the Pharisees, to boast of his strength and power, but in humility He is secured in His identity as Son of God. 

The second point of God wanting to restore also blew me away. What I got was that God could have responded in many different ways. He could have pressed the reset button, destroyed Adam and Eve and created Adam and Eve 2.0, turned the both of them into snakes, remove snakes from the face of the Earth etc.. the list goes on, but all of them speak of punishment and consequences. Yet God sacrificed an animal to make clothing out of its skin to cover Adam and Eve. The covering seems to be much more than the covering their physical naked bodies, but also their shame. It took the sacrifice of blood to bear their shame. Alluding to how Christ died on the cross for our sins and using His blood as an atonement for our sins and shame.

This is the part where its akin to God telling me that I am good enough. I do not need to be the best at my job, or the best at whatever responsibilities I hold to be His daughter. Of course, I will still show the spirit of excellence, but not because I want to prove that I am good enough to be a daughter of God, but it is because I hope that through me, people will see the love of Christ. This is indeed not an easy thing to do, cause there are students who will push my buttons, or parents who cross their boundaries. Sometimes my mental health does take a toll and I feel reluctant to go to work, but I want to believe that God will carry me through if I go along at His pace. To not rush things and take it one at a time, with a clear mind. Like how David did not see how big Goliath was, but rather how powerful he is with God on his side and it really just took 1 smooth pebble for Goliath to be defeated. 

I pray Lord, that as I learn to build the person in the mirror, to let go of the image that I want of myself and start to grow into the image you have made me to do, I will start to see people around me as how you see them (even the not-so-nice ones). Thank you for covering me and telling me that I am good enough and you love me. I pray that when I meet Goliaths in my life, I will stop staring at them, but rather turn my eyes upon you and know that you are with me. In Jesus' most precious name I pray, Amen!

=do something right =