Attended my first church AGM on Thursday. It was quite an interesting experience, and I realised that the issue that most people are concerned about it where our church money is going. The meeting hinged on our funds and (by God's grace), our surplus in terms of funds. Did not know that AGM would be like that. I thought it would be like where the church is heading to, what our leaders are doing etc... maybe I thought it would sound more like vision casting lol. But other than a few technical jargons being used here and there, there are still some things that I took away from the meeting (but they are not related to the content of the meeting).

1. Giving does not mean that our members are rich.

Nope, I am not referring to how our church likes to gift other churches LED-screens. But rather, when the pandemic hit, our church did not falter, instead, we had an abnormal growth. I remember turning to Mich K (whom I sat beside) and asked her, does this tell us that our members are rich? MK replied that being giving does not mean that we are rich. We do not need to be rich to give. I think it struck me that other than monetary, perhaps being rich/poor is a form of mentality, much more than circumstances. Of course, I do not deny that the state of poverty exists, but we can be rich, but still have a poor mindset. This results in us feeling that we will never ever have enough. On the other hand, we can be comfortable and have a rich mindset, and give thanks to God for what He has provided. 

2. Compromise and meeting in the middle

Honestly, I was feeling tired by the time AGM was going to start. Instead of the usual 7pm, AGM started at 8pm. Perhaps it was to allow ample time for the people to com from work to have a bite of the refreshments. Was toying with the idea of leaving early if AGM was to end at the stipulated 10pm (as on the calendar). I wanted to sit at the back, neat the exit so I can just turn, deck under the barricade and leave. Hence I was reluctant to move to the front (sorry Nic). I know I can be as stubborn as a bull and will not bulge, even if you keep asking me too or even go to the length of taking some extreme measure. I think Nic wanted me to move to like 3rd row (counting from the front), but no, I would not have it. Then he compromised to the 5th row from the front. I relented cause I felt that the row was not too in front, and it was within the area which was acceptable to me and it was at the side, not too conspicuous. If he would have stood his ground and wanted me to move to the 3rd row and tried means and ways to move me there, I do not think it would have ended well and even if I moved, things would have turned sour. Thus I learnt about compromising and meeting in the middle. I do understand why he wants me to move (I mean afterall I do serve in usher), yet at the same time, as a member, I have my choice and right to choose where I want to sit and that day I just wanted to sit there. But meeting in the middle was the best option (imo) that we took to settle something as trivial but still can cause disharmony. 

3. Being tactful

Also about sitting, so after I moved, I happen to sit in the same row as Phile, with about 3 seats between us. After the episode with Nic, where I just settled down in my seat, Phile beckoned me and said to move over to close up the gap (i.e. sit beside him). Normally I would have compiled. but that night, I was just so tired and I just ended a 'tug-of-war' to move to the front and now Phile comes along to tell me to move in. I just told him 'no and also for people to stop telling me what to do'. It was me in exasperated mode. I just want to sit at where I wanted to sit, talk to Meiling about her book while waiting for AGM to start, so the sooner we start, the earlier we can end to go home. I felt a bit guilty for saying that to Phile cause the tone was a little harsh and I was about to move in after I finished talking to Meiling about her book. Just then MK came over and sat beside him, so I just moved into the seat beside MK. On our way home, I had a talk with Phile and I asked him if he was taken aback at what I said. It was interesting to note that he also thought about it and he said that perhaps he should have said it in a different way. Instead of 'clare, can you move in, fill up the gap', he could have said it as 'clare, I would like you to sit beside me'. 人情牌usually works better in this situation (not every situation), but when he said that, I immediately felt better. So yes, for him, it was really about the way he said it that made me feel annoyed and felt like I was being told to do something that I did not want to do (again). From this I also learnt that being tactful is definitely an art, but it is something necessary. Not asking you to deceive and sugar coat things, it is just changing the way you say it and of course mean it, that makes the difference.

So here you go, things that I took away from AGM... that is not quite related to AGM. But its because I came for AGM that I managed to learn about them. Thank God!

= do something right=